Thursday, August 4, 2011

Conspiracy Theory

It is probably just a coincidence that they are all wearing the same outfit
One of my favorite recent books is The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman. I love seeing the challenges of Bod as he is constantly growing and changing in the graveyard where all the ghosts are forever stuck as they are. Further, the villains of the book are members of the "Jacks of all Trades" secret society. As with all secret societies, they secretly run the whole world.

There is a real life secret society that I have just begun to notice that seems to have its headquarters in New York City. May I bring your attention to what I will call The John Doe Secret Society. I first suspected this conspiracy of Johns while watching a clip on The Daily Show hosted by Jon Stweart. I will talk more on that later. But consider these confirmed accords:

I have long been a fan of They Might Be Giants because of one reason or another. The members of this duo are John Linnell and John Flansburgh. This is a duo that has been together for nearly 30 years as of today but are their names just a coincidence, or could it be something more sinister? Keep reading before you make up your mind. 

Jonathan Coulton:
Coulton's activities with the John Doe's cannot be documented as far back as They Might be Giants but his recent activities and associations cannot be ignored. According to his bio on Pandora, his start in the music industry under very similar circumstances as that of TMBG but in a more modern way. But your slight shift in methodology was certainly not enough to shift suspicion of your involvement in this conspiracy Jon. His "big break" is not the only thing he shares with John F. and John L. They have performed together on a number of occasions and they appeal to the same conspiracy-theory-inclined fans. What sinister plots could they be advancing together through their music? Only time will tell but they are not the only ones involved for sure.

John Lasseter:
As the the mastermind behind Pixar, Lasseter is known to be a fan and user of Apple products. Is this just because Apple computers are easy to use and are marketed artistic tools or could it be because of the John Doe community that has infiltrated and nearly taken over the company? Consider this picture seen on Wikipedia:
Incriminating photo taken at Macworld 2008

The highest ranking John at Apple is Jonathan Ive who is none other than the man pictured with John Lasseter. As someone who owns an ipod touch, I can testify that it is certainly not the easiest machine available to make a movie. Why then, would Lasseter continue to use Apple products???

But how does this tie in to New York and the aforementioned Johns? Well have you ever seen this man?
Probably the True Ruler of the World

This is John Hodgman. If the John Doe Society has a leader, it is this man for sure. He has collaborated in some way or another with just about all the other Johns. He played PC for Apple (surely because of his associations with Jonathan Ive of Apple) and he was the deranged millionaire for Venue Songs. But it doesn't stop there. Consider the film adaptation of Coraline. Notice anything strange about the Other Father??? That's right, he is voiced by Hodgman when speaking and Linnell when singing!!! But has Hodgman ever worked with Coulton?  Yes he has. After Hodgman finished writing his indoctrinating book, he went on tour with a certain theme-song guy.

And of course, you may know that Jonathan Hodgman is the "resident expert" on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.

I don't know how deep the lies and deception go, but I know that just as John Ive is the vice president of industrial design for Apple, John Adams was the first vice president of These United States of America. And just as John Wilkes Booth assassinated a famous President (who was not named John) so was the famous president John F. Kennedy, assassinated by killer (who was also not named John.) Are these the only high-profile assassinations involving Johns? I very seriously doubt it.

The next time you are out and about and meet someone named John, be very careful you don't upset him. He probably rules the world.

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